Death, taxes, change, and anger

No matter what, you can always count on death and taxes. I have never really resonated with this idea before. I always thought it was pretty depressing and defeatist. Recently though, perhaps because I am approaching 40, it has started to make more sense to me and I have actually found it liberating. Believe it or not, I enjoy paying my taxes now (although this year I did get a refund). Whether a refund or a check for 50% of my income, I am happy to pay my taxes. Thank you, I say; please build a new highway. Thank you I say; please let this money actually go to a school that is truly educating. Thank you I say; Please keep my neighborhood clean and safe – here at home and throughout the world. If I am going to spend money, I consciously spend it with as much love and positive intention as possible. try it. It feels good.

How much of our energy do we spend avoiding the inevitable? probably about 96% – though that’s just a guess. How many times have you heard:? “Our only real fear is a fear of death”. This is also one of those I never quite got. Probably because I heard the word death as meaning my actual literal death – of which I’ve never really been concerned about. I’m grateful to have not inherited that fear that I will suffer in my death. In truth, I think I am much more afraid of the suffering in life.
suffering. it always comes back to this. suffering. why does it exist? how can we stop it? If I create my own reality, why would I create suffering?
Once we move within ourselves to take responsibility for the power of our own thoughts and feelings, we must face this question at some point. If suffering exists, why am I creating it? or if the “I” sounds too egocentric or arrogant, then: If suffering exists, why are we creating it? co-creating it? The metaphysical and intellectual answer is: for our enlightenment. But what the hell is enlightenment and who really cares?
My highest self – the joyful child master – knows that everything is for my enlightenment and giggles when I resist and suffer, however, my human adult self can get pretty pissed off on a daily basis. Who created this reality we live in – with right and wrong, bad and good, rich and poor, single and married, dead and alive. What was she thinking?
The truth is, after taxes, there is death. And all you need during that experience is love and positive intention, so why not start practicing now. In death – an experience some call the Bardo of Becoming, no amount of money, political ideas, professional status, awards on your shelf, children you birthed, or books can help you. Only love and a clear rising of your own mind will guide you home.
This is what I am coming to understand as truth for me. Life is meant to be experienced in all it’s moments. And that experience is what we signed up for. So, why not enjoy the gift of this body, in this moment, in this life and trust that everything – the good, bad, and the ugly – is here FOR YOU to show you back to some inner truth. And yes, before this truth sets us free, sometimes it pisses us off. And maybe on some days, that’s OK.

2 Comments

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  1. Wow Lic,
    Just read this post over a month late and a song, half written years ago, came to me again from a line here. Remind me to speak to you of it the next time our paths cross.

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