10 years ago I was flying to Lebanon to teach music at the American Community School in Beirut. It was 2010 and I am pretty sure the apartment I lived in during that time has been blown up. My heart is with the Lebanese people and all helping to support them in this moment. I remember singing Better Me at a school talent show and a student coming up to me and saying, why are you a teacher? Why are you not a famous singer? I left Beirut 3 months later and recommitted my life to why I am here. That led to the 2012 release of Isn’t it Amazing?
Now here I am in Boston, MA stepping into a new teaching position at The Meadowbrook School of Weston in the middle of a global pandemic and the cultural pandemic (and hopefully transformation and reparation) of systemic racism. Full circle for this little human being, I must admit.
If there is one thing I know now on the eve of my 49th birthday, I was born to be a teacher and my students are here to awaken me.
In September of 2001, I was living in Brooklyn, NY and was working on the 16th floor of Rockefeller Center as a temp when two planes hit the World Trade Center. This past March, as COVID took NYC by storm, I was in Boston, MA remembering that time vividly.
2020 has taught me time is a spiral, everything is energy and when in doubt, I choose love. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.
To celebrate my favorite time of year on Cape Cod, I have decided to create Sweet September: 12 Days of 12 Rebirth.
In this series I will be sharing a track from my recent Album 12 Rebirth, talking about its creation and also linking it to an earlier song of mine. Read more about why I am doing this at Day 1.
Day 9 Love Again and Highest Good
Day 9 has arrived and it also happens to be Sept. 9th.
Day 9 on 9/9. LOVE that alignment. What does the number 9 mean to you? For me, it has always meant completion. Something is completing for me, individually and collectively.
A completion doesn’t have to mean a dramatic end, it could be a very subtle internal shift. The great thing about life, consciousness and meaning is that we get to create it for ourselves. That’s right.
We are the creator of our own reality.
It’s amazing to me that on this day of completion, I am sharing two songs that are about love and how to remember love even in the face of loss or change or completion. Both of these songs were inspired by beautiful women that I loved. Both relationships changed and “ended” in the form they had been, however both these beings are forever in my heart and have forever changed me for the better.
In Love Again, I explore my whole experience with loss, not just romantic love but that early loss we may feel as children when we offer our heart in its purest form and someone else just doesn’t get it. Some of us are more sensitive than others and so this early experience can be marked deeply in our psyche even if the moment wasn’t really that big a deal in another’s reality.
And so, it really becomes our responsibility to love ourselves, acknowledge the truth of our experience and remember how to love again. Love bigger, love better, love with joy and risk even knowing that love can sometimes lead to loss.
A relationship that I thought was deeply spiritual and absolutely “meant to be” ended. The writing of this song was my practice of letting it go and allowing a bigger picture to be made known to me.
Since writing that song, my understanding of love and connection has matured greatly and I now truly believe that all relationships are reflections of our relationship with our self and that the end of any relationship is never a failure but rather an opportunity to go inside and reflect on who we are and what we are attracting into our lives.
I fly off to Ireland tonight to be at my spiritual home, Creacon Wellness Retreat and I am beyond grateful that I will be completing this 12 part essay series in that amazing vortex.
Thanks for tuning in and remember wherever you are, whatever you are experiencing, All is Well.
Nothing is here to hurt is.
Everything is here to awaken us to more of who we truly are.
I was reminded today by facebook of a campaign I did 8 years ago called 40 and Fabulous. I was on the verge of turning 40, having recently returned from a middle east/age crisis (that’s a whole other blog) and was regrouping on Cape Cod.
Cape Cod – what an amazingly blessed place to regroup.
In this practice and campaign I created, I filmed myself everyday for 40 days chanting a different chant and posted it on youtube. I asked people to donate to SQ Foundation if they resonated with the videos. My goal was $40,000. HAHA. I have always dreamed very big.
This experience was an extraordinary lesson for me in consciousness, desire and how energy works. I can see now, that my intentions were multi-fold.
Yes, I wanted to share myself and my gifts as a singer to help support a foundation I believed in.
Yes, I wanted some structure to help me birth this career as a spiritual singer that I knew was real, but had no idea how to create.
And YES, I wanted to be seen and known for who I was, even though my external life seemed like it was going nowhere.
When I didn’t get close to reaching my goal but received an email from SQ Foundation within the next couple months saying that they had a set a goal to reach $40,000 in support of their programs, I learned so much!
It was not about ME being the one to raise the money. It was about ME showing up in my gifts and planting the seed so that WE could all thrive and empower ourselves and each other. Thank God I was crazy enough to do that and give myself a truly healing and awakening experience.
The other thing that happened during that campaign was on day 8, after committing to doing this, I got a bad cold and lost parts of my voice. I RARELY lose my voice. So there I was, humbled, having to acknowledge that singing and chanting is never about how you sound, but about the intention and devotion with which you offer your vibration.
All healing is Self-healing.
Now, as I travel sharing my songs and leading people in chants (as if it was something I always did), I reference this personal experience often to illustrate how we may not ever know fully why we are urged to do things from within. We may feel that the inner guidance we receive or desires we become aware of are crazy and illogical and …..they may be.
However, I have learned, when I take actions from my inner guidance with the right motivation, amazing things can happen – for both me and the people who end up hearing or feeling me.
It is not always an easy path. It can be frustrating and confusing and lonely. However, here I am again at age 48, recommitting to this path. My path. Our path. A path of what I now call Self-Actualization or Living into my Destiny Path.
My only job now is to become uniquely me at the highest potential possible in any given moment. If I truly commit to this, that realization of my pure essence will be of the Highest Service to Humanity, of which I am a part and I will have fun along the way!
Some of you may have figured this out a long time ago. I often joke, I am on the remedial human path. I have always resonated with the spiritual path and for that I am beyond grateful. Now, I am excited and thrilled to walk into my human path of expressing my Spiritual Being at a whole new level.
Thank you for walking with me and sending me an encouraging smile/hug, note, or dollar every now and them. If you haven’t heard 12 Rebirth yet, I encourage you to tune in and watch the new promo video.
I cannot fully express in words what a gift it is to be a Creative Music Maker right now on this glorious planet. I guess I will have to just keep on writing songs and singing to share that joy!
I am writing from Cincinnati, having settled in here for about a week. After all the traveling, it has been nice to land. Preperations are under way for the first ever Gaia’s Love Festival and I am beyond grateful to be here offering my music and supporting the vision of my friend Vivienne Gerard, There are still some tickets left, so if you resonate with the energy, be sure to register HERE.
Before I got to Cincinnati, I completed my journey through Canada, came over the border at Detroit, had a brief stop in Ann Arbor before arriving in Cincy. So let’s rewind a little.
Last place I mentioned was Brittania Beach in Ottawa, Ontario. What a cool spot. I met some wonderful sound and yoga practitioners and they have invited me back to play at their Bhakti in the Woods Celebration – maybe August of 2020. That would be fun. Here is a picture of Rebecca’s apartment and all her Gongs. No matter where I travel, the Universal Energies always make sure I am give the opportunity to retune myself as much as I like. I am so grateful for the many Beings on this planet using Sound to awaken and balance themselves and others. What a gift to be one who creates Conscious Sound.
From Brittania Beach, I made my way to the Algonquin National Park, stayed at an air BnB in in Whitney, ON just at the edge of the east entrance to the park, hiked and swam my way through the park and then landed at my Friday Jim Grant’s home for a couple days. What a gift this time was. I joked I was going to write a blog called “How mosquitoes are enlightening me”, but will save that for another time.
For now here are some pics of the beautiful land I was blessed to experience. I sang the Algonquin Water Song often. You can hear it at the beginning of my song I am the Ocean. Or watch this extraordinary video of the Grandmothers. listen to the sound as you look at the pictures.
Being with Jim and Betz and fellow friends Ellen and her family was truly nourishing and inspiring. From fresh baked breads (check out The Oxtongue Baker), to ice cold micro brew on the dock, to beautiful deep conversations about why we are here and how best we can become our truest and most peaceful selves.
Thank you Jim and Betz and all at Chape Inn. I hope to be back soon.
From there I made my way to Toronto for a night. It was incredibly hot that day – remember that crazy heat wave that was everywhere, so I mostly walked around a lot drenched in sweat. I did have a wonderful conversation with a local bartender, originally from Hawaii, who wanted to buy me a shot because he was so enjoying our conversation. He told me our time together helped him feel much better about Americans. I am happy to serve. 😉
From there I drove through some beautiful farmland of Canada, spent a couple days in the Niagara-On-the-Lake area, mostly resting and staying cool. This place made me a little home sick for the Cape, I must admit. Around this time I was really longing for magical swim in Barnstable Harbor.
And then off into the absolutely sweltering heat of the tunnel from Windsor, ON to Detroit Michigan. What an experience!
There was a LOT of traffic and I was asked many many questions as I re-entered the US. I realized after the fact, that the nice man just couldn’t quiet understand why I was driving so much and travelling by myself as a woman. sigh.
He literally said to me, “Next time you should bring a friend.” I told him I had my music.
After that somewhat annoying journey through the tunnel and over the border, I arrived at a most magical air BnB in Ann Arbor Michigan. The funny thing is when I arrived there was no power in much of the city. Remember that crazy weather….
The good news was I had a grand piano just steps from where I was sleeping. What a treat! I even wrote a few tunes. I had forgotten how inspiring it was to write on a grand piano. so fun!
My final leg landed me in Cincinnati on Sunday night staying with my friend Tera for a few days, then another friend Alice in Northern Kentucky, and then eventually landing at Viv’s on Thursday. We all enjoyed a super fun house concert on Friday, celebrating the Galactic New Year and completing the celebrations of my new album 12 Rebirth.
While I was with Tera, we made a trip to see Serpent Mound. Very cool.
It has been wonderful reconnecting and hanging by the pool with Viv and her family, allowing myself to recharge and move a little slower after all that driving and traveling. And I had another wonderful experience with gongs, not soon after I arrived, again feeling the grace and gratitude for how healing sound is always present in my vicinity, kind of like Magic.
Now, I am enjoying the energy build to Saturday and performing at Gaia’s Love Festival. To learn more about this festival and how it evolved from Viv’s book One Day Gaia’s Gifts, visit her website.
While driving around Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky, there are many bridges. It seems no matter where I go, I end up on some highway and crossing some part of the river somewhere. This had me thinking about bridges this morning.
Right now, I feel like I am halfway across a bridge. I can still see where I came from – the known place I had been living in and being me, as well as the place I am going – a little less known and unclear. What is it like to be half way across a bridge? How do we trust we can keep going and not turn back towards what is familiar?
Imagine if the bridge wasn’t solid. Like in that scene from A Wrinkle in Time, where the staircase only appears when she takes a step into what looks like nothing.
This is where we are now. At least that’s what if feels like to me.
Tomorrow is a new moon and mercury goes direct.. Then we head into what is known as the Lion’s Gate energetically.
There have been many moments in which I half found myself throughout my human journey halfway across a bridge. The last time I felt this much excitement and unknown at the same time was the summer of 2009, before I moved to Egypt.
In past moments, I have not always had the courage to take the full leap into the unknown and see what happens. This time, however, I have never felt so ready or so joyful to keep walking step by step allowing the bridge – the LIGHT BRIDGE – to appear moment by moment.
I can’t believe it’s June 1st. Wow! The May 17 Official release concert in Brooklyn was so fun and it is so thrilling to have this new music out in the world and be hearing back from some of you about what you are liking and what is resonating. Have you heard the CD? Or received it in the mail? Send me a message and let me know how you are listening and what you are loving. Those little messages mean more than you think and help keep me going.
TONIGHT I will be enjoying a beautiful experience at the Harwich Cultural Center with a local group of Cape musicians backing me up. so so fun. Catie Flynn, who sang on the record will be in the house along with her band mates Aaron Mayo and Karl Hoyt. Rich Buck will be on drums which is such a treat.
There will be more to announce in the next couple weeks about dates in Canada and the midwest, but for now, I wanted to say THANK YOU and if you have not taken a moment to tune into 12 Rebirth, I encourage you to. It is available on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple Music and Amazon (among other platforms.)
I am still grounding back into regular life here on Cape Cod after an extraordinary couple days at Dreamland Studios in Hurley NY.
On March 16-17, 12 Rebirth was recorded with an amazing group of souls and musicians. I could not be more grateful.
The official release of the record will be May 17, 2019 and if you want to hear the tracks early, you can head on over to Queen City Records and join our community pre-ordering your digital download for only $11 or choosing Vinyl or attendance to one of the CD release concerts and parties in one of the multiple cities and towns.
All I can tell you right now in this moment is that I took a quantum leap as an artist and as a human being. None of it would have been possible without the incredible support and guidance of my producers and engineers Allison Leyton-Brown & Bryan Pugh, as well as the playing of Daria Grace on Bass,
Many Many emails and texts from friends new and old with offers for support as we go forward
Deep Deep healing for me individually, for my family and for all of Humanity
An AMAZING photo shoot with Joe Navas (photos to be revealed soon)
A ton of amazing energy that is now creating momentum towards the recording on March 16-17 at Dreamland Studios.
Thank you Thank you!!
I will be reaching out to backers, so they can fulfill their pledge directly through PayPal. Stay Tuned!
And for those who are reading this after 3/5, feel free to send me some love in the form of money HERE. Whatever amount feels good to you.
$11 gets you a digital download in advance. $33 gets you a T-shirt along with that download. $55 gets you Vinyl. All to be delivered in May, 2019. Official Release is May 17, 2019.
This is just the beginning. Let’s do this!
Special Thanks to the Gaia Tribe based in Cincinnati, SQ Worldwide based in Ireland, and the Feminine Power community all over the world. As Claire Zammit says, we don’t become ourselves by ourselves. I am because you are.
Wow! Today is Day 8. It’s an amazing ride already. We have 50 backers and are 13% funded. yes! It is our goal to double the amount of backers in the next couple days and get to 25% funded. Pre-order your album of new songs by Alicia Mathewson now for only $11 or $33 and get a signed CD and t-shirt. You can also watch some live videos Alicia did on Facebook.
To help support the campaign and keep me focused in gratitude I have been having so much fun sharing pictures from my life that help tell the story of me and all that has helped inspired 12 Rebirth.
Today is Day 8 and it was 8 years ago that I was living in Cairo Egypt. kind of cool alignment.
This picture is from a hut I lived in for about 4 days in Nuweiba, a spot that sits right on the Aqaba Sea and looks across at Jordan. It was an extraordinary time in which I connected with nature and myself. I will never forget it.
Thanks for tuning in and for supporting the campaign. Remember, it’s not just about my music but about building the foundation for Queen City Records, a company and platform that will help educate and empower women in the fields audio and techionology.
It’s a full moon in Virgo today and I could not be more grateful for all that is unfolding. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Please join me over the next 21 days as I raise resources to release my 5th album. I am so grateful and will be sharing that gratitude through Facebook and Instagram as we connect and expand together. Be sure to follow me and learn more about the songs, the stories, and the birth of Queen City Records.
Join me LIVE on Facebook at 5:55am Tuesday 2/12/19 for the official Kickstart!